21//Selamat Hari Raya//Maksu

I don't know whether this feelings is normal or what but when it comes to this kind of situation, i'm kinda like...
Erm maybe what i've been thinking is wrong. No. It is never wrong. Maybe it is just different for others.

Like if i'm in a really down condition, i don't feel right when someone comes and says
"Takpe,bukan rezeki kau.Kita cuba lagi next time ok."
"Sabarlah..it is just a matter of time."
"Sabarlah...hidup bukannya selalu indah."

And yada..yada...yada...and the last one i never heard of.Tu semua dalam novel.

Lain-lain situation maybe macam we lost someone that is so close to us..
"Sabarlah..Allah lebih sayangkan dia."
"Sabarlah...mungkin dia memang bukan untuk kau."
Sambil tepuk belakang badan..

Ada satu part di dalam hidup di mana seorang kawan, dia baru break up masa tu. And then we all kumpul kat bilik dia. Just so that she would not feeling lonely maybe. So she lay her body on my lap. And what did i do? She then went to my friend's lap.

You know what,when i feel down, actually when someone came and pat on my back, macam ada satu nadi kat belakang yang ditepuk untuk mengeluarkan air mata. Serious. So when i sad, i prefer to be alone. Ala semua orang macam ni kot. Macam dalam setiap bulan, atau mungkin tahun, akan ada satu part dalam hidup kita, kita rasa sedih. Tak kiralah sedih sebab kematian ke, sebab exam ke, sebab stress ke, sebab putus cinta ke, sebab apa-apalah.

The worst part is, kita tak tahu kita sedih sebab apa. That is the part when i want to be alone. I feel like talking to no one. I feel like pushing everyone away. I feel like going somewhere far far away. I feel like screaming my lungs out. So, because i'm incapable of doing all that, the only solution is, sleep. And it is not a normal sleep. Sleeping with my souls flying far far away to a beautiful place meeting the soul i longing for.

Hah. Tipu. Tidur. Dan kadang-kadang mimpi indah dan kadang-kadang mimpi dah solat padahal belum solat.

My friend tadi kan dah berpindah from my lap to my friend's kan. My friend then usap rambut dia, cakap kata-kata semangat macam "Takpe.Kau kan cantik..baik..ramai lagi yang lebih baik...blablablabla....". That made my friend yang baru break up tu feel more loved,calm and relax kot.

 Macam orang kata "a shoulder to cry on". If someone cry in front of me, i will tarik dia, dan biar dia nangis sampai habis without saying anything. Kot. Atau freak out and run away.

Kalau orang merajuk,i don't know how to pujuk. Hanya tahu kata "Sorry."...

Relate everything.
Cold.
Definition of cold.
That's it.
21.And cold.
I'll try to grow up better.

Hope it is not too late. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Maaf zahir dan batin.

Sticknote;

Izzara Iris Batrisyia. Nak gomol-gomol dia ni pun takut sebab she is too small. Nak dukung pun takut. Tunggulah dah besar sikit. Kita ballet sama-sama heh nanti. 

Xoxo,
Maksu//Aunty D